Tuesday, July 22, 2008


So I committed what might have been a social faux pas the other day. But honestly, I'm not sure what I could have said differently other than not responding. But fortunately I think the person to whom I was speaking just didn't give a rip what I said, so I'm covered.

So in the course of a conversation about swimming lessons for my kids, the man with whom I was speaking said that today his divorce was finalized. This came up because he was new to the area, was new to the club, and was actually in training to be the aquatics director at the location that will be opening soon in another city nearby. Great, I thought. All my friends who have been divorced are glad to be divorced - some even having mini-celebrations when it's finalized. So what do I say? Well, "Congratulations" was the thing that spilled out of my mouth. Now, for most this would have been met with a smile, or a cheer, or who knows what. But this particular man didn't want to get a divorce and proceeded to tell me that he didn't really want to leave his wife but she was done with him. OOPS. Not the thing to say in this particular situation, but what the heck was I suppose to say? He was a complete stranger and I just stuck my foot in my mouth. After a bit of small talk centered damage control, I left him with a smile, and went on my merry way. But this bring sup the questions - what on earth DO you say when someone tells you that their divorce is final now/today/yesterday/whatever?

1 comment:

Beth said...

I'm not sure what the right thing to say is...everyone is going through it differently. Like you said, some are happy. Myself, I didn't really tell anybody except a few close friends, so he set himself up for it. Most people don't say things of that nature to complete strangers. But all bets are off when you're going through a divorce. You do things you wouldn't normally do.
I probably would have said, "Really? Oh, wow..." that kind of leaves it in their court. But hey, you had no way of knowing.