My tattoo, albeit temporary

While Tom would LOVE if I got a real tattoo, it was a five year old that actually convinced me to do it. Now, he was sly, but it was only a temporary tattoo - and a Transformers one to boot!

Don't be jealous - you can have one too if you hit Target soon! And if you want your cool temporary tattoo to stay, don't put sock on and them wear sneakers - it just rubs off...

I never in a million years

thought that this particular story would come out of Florida of all places. What is the world coming to?

State moves to ban fake testicles on vehicles
By Michael PeltierFri Apr 25, 12:03 PM ET

Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state.
Republican Sen. Cary Baker, a gun shop owner from Eustis, Florida, called the adornments offensive and proposed the ban. Motorists would be fined $60 for displaying the novelty items, which are known by brand names like "Truck Nutz" and resemble the south end of a bull moving north.
The Florida Senate voted last week to add the measure to a broader transportation bill, but it is not included in the House version.
In a spirited debate laced with double entendre, Senate lawmakers questioned whether the state should curtail freedom of expression in vehicle accessories.
Critics of the ban included the Senate Rules Chairman, Sen. Jim King, a Jacksonville Republican whose truck sported a pair until his wife protested.
The bill's sponsor doubted it would succeed.
"It's probably not going to make it through the process," Baker said on Thursday. "It won't be much of story in a few days."

So who really looks good in a skort?

I mean honestly they are an interesting idea, but who do they flatter? Me? No, not me. You? Well, that's your call, but the only one that I've seen that's cute (besides the random middle school cheerleader) is this critter:

They not only make my butt seem larger than it really is (and I don't need any help with that) they tend to ride up. Any there's no dignity digging out a wedgie when you are wearing a skort. So, my two skorts are hitting the donation pile. Bye bye my not so friendly friends. You won't really be missed. And if you have some in your stash and you aren't A) a cheerleader below the age of 18 or B)three years old, then you might want to consider tossing yours too.

Kisses

"Hey mommy - I kissed C. today!" - Ian
Sadly, my first thought wasn't about the kiss, or the fact that he had this big grin, but it was about whether or not he caught/shared something when he kissed her. It's cold season around here and I just finished up strep throat, so my mind immediately went to the germs passed along. Sigh...

"So where did you kiss her?"
Pause, bigger grin. "I kissed her on the lips!"
Bigger sigh...guess my mind needs to wander elsewhere, it was bound to happen one day.

Bubble Juice

How sad. I used the last of the dish soap to use bubble juice - those darn kids. Now I can't finish the dishes, but I can blow lots of ginormous bubbles. Hmmm...sounds like a good trade off to me...

Dear restaurant owner - DON'T LET US IN.

Once again one of the restaurants that we frequent has closed. This happens over and over again, going back YEARS. We find a great restaurant, start going there regularly, mention OUT LOUD to each other that we like the place, and it closes. I'd post links to these places, but only one was part of a chain, so the rest have just up and disappeared (one did move really far across town and we count that).

So if you have a favorite restaurant, it's best not to tell us. If you owna restaurant and would like to stay open, don't invite us in. And if we do come in to eat, certainly don't have good food and service - that might draw us back in and you'll risk going out of business. And no, it doesn't work the other way. You get no boost if we don't like your food. And having us pretend doesn't seem to work either - those nasty or gross places are all still there, even though we pledged our undying love for them.

So, we are the harbingers of doom. If we come in and like our meal you don't have long...

Aggressive mothers more likely to conceive sons

Aggressive mothers more likely to conceive sons
Washington DC News.NetMonday 21st April, 2008 (ANI)

Washington, April 21 : Women with dominant nature have a higher likelihood of conceiving more sons, according to a new study. The study report says that a growing body of evidence suggest a maternal influence on sex determination. The study showed that the sex of bovine embryos positively correlates with pre-ovulatory follicular testosterone. It, however, remains a mystery as to how exposure of oocytes to follicular testosterone may influence the ability of a metaphase II egg to be preferentially inseminated by a Y-bearing sperm. The study has been published in the journal Biology of Reproduction.

Hmmmm....so what are you saying?

Not my kid!

Yesterday at preschool a woman hollered at me for not stopping her kid from pulling up a flower - several flowers actually. Let me back up and explain. After preschool most days the kids run around and play for about 10 minutes while the parents visit. About two weeks ago the church planted some beautiful flowers out where the kids play and they are now in full bloom. Thus far the kids haven't messed with the flowers and they still look lovely. That is, until yesterday. For some reason a little man went right up and plucked two of the flowers off and was walking around with them. The woman whom I was speaking to and I kind of giggled a minute after after seeing him with the flowers in hand, knowing that he probably shouldn't have done that, but hey, he's four.

Then the mom of said little boy walks over and yells at us for not telling him to stop. She tried to crack a smile, but you could tell she was serious. The woman I was talking to told her that we didn't see him do it in the first place, and the mom corrected us again and told us that we SHOULD have stopped him - yelling at him if necessary. I held my tongue - I don't know this mom other than seeing her at preschool, and she's pregnant, so I wanted to cut her some slack. But she kept on us and the amazing part was - she never spoke to her kid about not doing it again. I dunno - I'd at least pull the kid over and explain about the pretty flowers, and not to touch them, or anything. Don't holler at another mom - because lady - it isn't my job to police your kid. Now, if he was going to run out in the street or was picking up a knife, certainly I'd say something. But honestly, plucking flowers while his mom stands five feet away? And yelling at me - what's that going to accomplish? If you want me to keep an eye on your kid just ask. But seriously, hollering at me for your momentary lapse in kid care isn't the right answer.

$200? OUCH!

I have to start this post off by admitting I do something - apparently something that I should not be doing. Our house has wooden floors everywhere except for the basement. I like, well, I love to slide around on them - I call it sock skating. (And I'm not the only one in the house that does this!) Sock skating simply involves wearing socks, and then propelling yourself across the floor similarly to ice skating. It's a ball - try it sometime when you are alone. You don't have to admit it to anyone, but it's fun.

Now, the $200 and the problem comes in when I was sock skating a few days ago. I was in the living room zipping around turning lights off before I left, and I whacked my hand on the back of the couch. I knew immediately that I jammed my fingers as they swelled up and one turned a bit blue where my ring was - my wedding ring. So I whipped the ring off and made no notice of it's condition...until two days later. I was putting lotion on and put my ring back on and noticed that the diamond on my engagement ring was about 2 mm off to one side. No wonder my fingers hurt so much - they had the heck smacked out of them!

So I took my ring into the place that cleaned it about six months ago, reduced the size of the rings because they were falling off of me, and repaired two of the tines that were crooked. That cost as much as our first couch. This time though, fortunately, my diamond was still in place and my wedding band wasn't damaged. (The rings are attached to each other.) It just needed a few tines straightened out, and oh while you are at it can you clean the rings? No problem, the jeweler will call you with an estimate of what the repair cost will be they said.

$200. To straighten my poor little ring out. Not even the whole ring, just the tines. Well, apparently four of the stones in my wedding band are also loose, and both need to be cleaned again. Geez louise where does it end? So instead of paying the $200 and getting the repair, Tom and I are setting off on the grand ring adventure (we're illogical like this occasionally). You see, this year is our 10th wedding anniversary and we're getting me a new ring at some point, so why not now. And since my poor engagement ring had been repaired about 10 times since he gave it to me, we're thinking that maybe a different, more substantial mount is in order.

So, back to the jeweler to get my poor little ring back and see what they can do for me. Our little $200 expenditure turned into a whole new animal, hopefully one that is a little less delicate. I'm not so much the delicate type.

The difference between me and my oldest son

is oh so apparent in our dreams.

Max: "Hey Mom - I had a dream last night about black holes!"
Me: "Cool! I had a dream that Daddy bought me a riding lawnmower."

Sigh...

One year ago today

I was sent home from the hospital to recover from a major surgery. I had a breast reduction and a tummy tuck, and man was I uncomfortable. I was swollen, had several drains in that made me uncomfortable, was heavily medicated (thank goodness) and couldn't have been happier (see my big drug induced cheesy grin?). About three months later, all was back to normal, or what the new normal would become. It took me another few months to completely recover, but I was up to regular speed at six months - and much faster on the go. I could now run, jump, and do a lot more without having those girls in the way. But a year ago today I was heavily medicated and in a bit of pain - and very doped up. Fortunately my in-laws here here running the house and taking care of all of us so Tom could continue working and we could all maintain our sanity. Fortunately my husband 'got it" and encouraged and supported me through this whole process. But still, a year ago today I was on the couch, not yet taking showers, and not allowed to stand up straight or lift anything.

I can't be more happy with how it all turned out, nor can I say that I have any regrets. Take a look at the difference and you'll see what I mean - can't ask for anything more:

The first one is the night before the surgery. The second is from six weeks after, and I was still swollen in spot. At about six months the swelling went away completely, and my shape changed dramatically when I started back exercising, and running. The last picture is from last month, but you get the drift! I can't say that it was an easy recovery, but like anything this radical, it was a family decision and one of our best if I say so myself. I'm sure that the rest of the family would agree - I'm in a much better place overall these days, and have this surgery to thank for helping to get me there.

Let the CRAZINESS commence

So tomorrow these two (but not Flat Stanley Elvis):

begin soccer. They've played soccer before, but this is going to get interesting as Max has soccer on Saturdays and Tom coaches that team. Hopefully the games won't collide too many times, and hopefully the boys both enjoy their soccer experience. My guess, from their sheer joy at being able to wear shin guards, is that they will have a ball. So, we're off tomorrow to a whole new experience - Max has to wait around while his brothers play soccer!

The craziness comes in as we have to manage travel to and from the games. Fortunately the little guys should be on the same team, but we'll find out tomorrow how much craziness we will have to deal with this season. And I'm sure that this is nothing - the really crazy schedules are looming just on the horizon.

Hot Computer!

No, it isn't stolen...but this could be bad. Should I be concerned that my laptop is about 105 degrees? Should I worry that this is it's normal state after four years? Yeesh.

I had this great idea for a blog post...

...and I completely forget what it is. It was all of five minutes ago, so I must be tired. Whatever it was struck me as a great blog post, but it is gone. It simply vanished. So, a quick kiddo story and I'm off to bed as I'm obviously tired! And I won't even get into a big old discussion of why I think it is so terribly wrong to disrupt the Olympic Torch or the Olympics themselves for political reasons.


My kids do chores, and this week Max has Sock Patrol as one of his chores. This means that he scours the house for socks (our original problem was socks being left EVERYWHERE) and any other dirty clothes. He also has to put away clean clothes, but I generally have all the kids do that together to spread their pain. Anyway, the hamper was downstairs in the laundry room, so Max had to, with his own hands, pick up my underwear and carry them down to the rest of the laundry. My underwear, along with a few other pieces of clothing, was sitting where the hamper lives normally. So, he picks up my undies and yells at the top of his lungs to his brothers (imagine the tone here - he's a 7 year old boy)


"OOOOO. Mommy's underwear. I have mommy's underwear! OOOOO"


Yeah, nice.

Taxes - DONE!

Yes, you read that correctly, our taxes are done. A few years ago we did or taxes in early February. The last two years we did them in mid March. This year we waited until, well, yesterday to get started. Yeesh, April 7 is not the best time to start your taxes. Waht if we were missing a form? Fortunately we had everything and finished them yesterday as well. Yes, finished - in all of 1.5 hours.

I remember slaving over my first few sets of income taxes sweating whether or not I got the details right and the numbers in the right spots. I was a student and worked, and only had one W-2, but man oh man it took me HOURS to get those forms filled out. And I remember my Dad setting aside a full weekend to do his and mom's taxes for years. At some point though I got married, started working regular jobs, had investments, had kids, and our taxes got complicated. We struggled with those early forms, not knowing exactly if we filled everything in in the right spot or not. Then along came our savior TurboTax online.

We are now able to complete our taxes in all of about an hour (last night it took longer due to some debate on accrual methods for my business). This wonderful program pulls in the info from the prior year, goes through step by step and asks if there are changes, and is easy enough for someone who is tax impaired (like me) to navigate it properly. I can't imagine how long it would take us to do our taxes by hand - or why on earth anyone would even think of doung that these days. Computers are our friend, and that mass of paper that TurboTax filled out for us, well, I might just want to marry it.

Max In Goal

Ahhh...another indoor soccer season comes to a close.

Yes, he was indeed scary.

Dear scary man who came to my door mid-day,

When you approach someone's door in the middle of the day, there are some basic etiquette rules that you need to follow.

1. Ring the bell and WAIT. Yes, wait. It might take a minute for the person answering the door to get there.
2. Don't POUND on the door. Pounding never scores points. And there may be someone sleeping - you wake me up, you make me mad. You wake my kid up and we're going to have a "little talk."
3. Certainly don't ring the bell them IMMEDIATELY pound on the door. This borders on creepy and it might change my mind about the whole answering the door thing.
4. And if the person does answer the door, DON'T YELL AT HER - she's slow (or busy) not deaf. Speak in a regular voice and be polite. Don't make faces or STOMP off across the lawn if you don't get the answer you want either. That's just poor form.
5. If you POUND, RING, YELL, or STOMP, you will FREAK OUT the person in the home that you are attempting to get to hire you. Never works. Never, ever. Doesn't matter how dirty my gutters are - you scared me and I hate that.

And note to the next person that comes to my house mid-day and pounds, rings, knocks, walks up to the door, or even sniffs around my house, I am NOT going to answer the door. The scary man that swung by today in an attempt to clean out my gutters blew it for you. You and the next thirty people that come by. (So sorry favorite UPS guy - this means you too.)

Signed,
The woman who is now jittery mid-day

This is cross posted over at DC Metro Moms.

The grass isn't always greener

Today was one of those regular days, with the exception of a scary encounter with a loud man at my front door, was just regular. However, as the day wraps up I am longing for something different. I'm ready for a different pace, a change of scenery, a new locale. I want a change, but not a break, an actual change. But then I realize that I'll miss my lifestyle. If I jump ship and move out to the country, then we'll have a different load of work, a new set of challenges, and a whole mess of stuff that we don't know about. If we were to move to, say, a beautiful island in the Caribbean, there would also be issue with employment, education, etc, along with a whole new set of challenges.

So, you see, I'm not terribly motivated to change or do something different. I suppose it was just one of those days that was the same as another day and I wanted something a bit different. As for what I actually want? Who knows. Tomorrow it will be a bowl of ice cream, or perhaps world domination. For tonight though, I'll just go to bed and see what tomorrow brings.

Calendar surprises!

We have a calendar on our pantry (along with the chore charts) so that everyone knows what's going on and everyone knows where everyone else is or is supposed to be and when. Generally it works, and it's the best method that we've found thus far to make sure that we show up where we are supposed to. It is generated in MS Outlook and is all color coded. The kids know their colors, and can track their own activities. We also add activities as the come up instead of reprinting the whole thing. But this morning I noticed an addition to the calendar that wasn't in my or Tom's handwriting:

Yes, Max added to today "Alvin + the Cimpmunks out on dvd." Not only did he succumb to ads on TV (which he hasn't seen for a week because he lost the privilege) but he also thought enough of the event to add it to the calendar. Wonder if he thinks that this means that I will buy it as it is on the calendar? Too bad he can't watch it though - he's still in trouble until Thursday...