Sunday, September 27, 2009

For B.

A good friend of mine just lost her mom, and I feel her pain much more strongly than I would have had I not lost my own mom a few years back. For whatever reason it just seems to hit home harder. I know all about the pain that she will have to work through, the time she will spend celebrating the life of this lovely woman, and the heartache for losing her so very early. We are not young children, but losing your mom when you are mid-life is tough. Losing your mom or dad is tough period - no matter how old you are.

I don't know how many times I've wanted to pick up the phone and share something with my mom and couldn't. Or how many times I've snapped a picture that I thought she in particular would appreciate, and have wanted to send it to mom but couldn't. Or how many hours I've thought about what life in my house would be like if she were still around. Would she be proud of the woman and wife and mother that I've become? Would she be sad that we still lived so far away and she couldn't give her grand babies hugs and squeezes more often? Would my outlook on life be any different?

I guess the only thing that would change is that I would pick up the phone more often. I would send that picture more often. But I know that I am still making her proud. And I hope that as my friend goes forward in her life that she knows that her mom, even though she is not physically with her, is always in her heart. My mom is with me at every soccer game, every playgroup, and every school concert. She is there for the ups and the downs, and knowing that I had the chance to get to know and love her for all of those years makes it a little bit easier to not have her around. But honestly, I still miss her each and every day.

No comments: