1. If you are my kid, you will inevitably, before you turn four, find and draw with a pen/pencil/Sharpie on the walls/floors/cribs/washer/whatever. It's just the way it is in this family.
2. I can't stop myself from eating Halloween candy, even if I tell myself that I won't. Just have to get it out of the house.
3. Sometimes grown ups act like they are entitled to the world, and that it's your fault that their day isn't going well. (Actually, one of my volunteers learned this the really hard way this week, but I witnessed it.)
4. If your phone doesn't do what you want it to do, buy a new one that does and stop complaining. You'll feel so much better.
5. When you do good for others, people notice.