Over the past four years there have been times where I think back on the wonderful life I had with my Mom, and miss her. Then there are times when my heart aches that she's gone. I feel like I had so much more to share with her, and that she was gone from our lives much too soon.
But honestly, I think she's keeping tabs on us. I know that when the boys do something adventurous or silly or wild, that she's smiling. And when Lucy, whom she never had the chance to meet, does something daring, or independent, or silly, that she's cheering her on. And when I do something bold, make a tough choice, or try something new, she is there supporting me every step of the way.
You see, my Mom left my life too soon, but she instilled in me a sense of stillness and a purpose in my being, and I carry that with me every day. I know that the choices that I make, the decisions that I come to, and the steps that I take in life are all influenced by her. She helped me discover who I am and has guided me throughout my life in various ways.
So, while it's been four years now since she passed away, I am grateful to have had her around for the preceding 33.